Staying High

 

staying-high

Labor Day 2016

Wednesday, January 25, 2017 marked one year since I both said ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’ to my newborn son, Izzy, and what a year it’s been. My family will be walking and fundraising for the March of Dimes March for Babies again this year in Izzy’s honor, therefore, here I am starting a blog series on the lessons I’ve learned and the encouragement I have to offer one year post infant loss. I’ve had highs and lows, but most importantly, I’ve grown and learned to keep pressing on through it all.

 

One of the key truths I’ve learned over the past year is that life is both the pain and the joy, the despair and the hope, the tears and the laughter—all of it is entwined and it’s impossible to have one without soon having the other. Somebody once said that if you never have the valleys, you won’t know what the mountaintop feels like. Every day that I find myself smiling or laughing, I’m in awe of the glory of God and the mysteries of life because I remember days when I thought I would never be able to smile or laugh again.

One of my favorite songs right now is “Stay High” by Jonathan McReynolds. Bruh has helped get me through the storms this year. After a friend invited me to see him live, I’ve been hooked on his music. Let me know what you think in the comments!

My family and I will be walking in the March of Dimes March for Babies on Sunday, April 30, 2017 in honor of our angel. We’d love for you to donate to our campaign! Any amount no matter how small may help other families of premature infants. Click here and know that we’re so thankful for you!

 

Essence Fest 2016 (What It Is)

I had the privilege of experiencing Essence magazine’s Essence Fest for the second time this past 4th of July weekend. It was simply everything. I saw some of my favorite artists perform like Mariah Carey, Babyface, and a new favorite, Jidenna. Yet, anybody who really knows me knows that seeing the one and only Maxwell perform again (my first time was back in 2009) and posing next to him for a picture just made not only my weekend, but my entire life. He epitomizes real musicianship, style, class, soul, and individuality in a way that is breathtaking to me. I’m still in shock that I was standing right next to him even if for only a few seconds!

Even though I’m a huge fan of Essence Fest and hope to attend as many times as I can while there is breath in my body, I understand how it could look to the highly critical among us, being that I’m one of them. There were times when I waited in line after line at the Ernest N. Morial Convention Center during the humid, NOLA days when I wondered if it was all worth the hype. Was it all just a series of marketing ploys and self-promotion? There were celebrities autographing recent book and CD-releases. There were vendors selling all types of wares and southern-styled meals. There were major hair and beauty brands giving away samples—ranging from small trial-sized packets to full-sized bottles of products. Sure, there were various empowerment stages, speeches, and sessions but were all of those amazing messages drowned out in a sea of marketing and consumerism? Was there really more lying beneath the surface of superficiality?

You bet your bottom dollar there was! Let me breakdown exactly what Essence Fest is…

Essence Fest is drinking a cool glass of lemonade on a blazing summer day (the Beyoncé brand).

It is that gentle breeze underneath your sundress when you’re drenched in sweat.

It is what it feels like to come home (the Diana Ross in “The Wiz” version).

Where else on earth can you go to find hundreds of melanin-drenched people in one place where it’s not only acceptable, but required to embrace the uniqueness and beauty of African American culture? Where you can eat as much fried chicken, collard greens, and peach cobbler as you want without the guilt of feeling like a stereotype? Where there is no doubt that black lives always and will forever matter? In fact, the question is redundant because it’s a given. Essence Fest is a type of nirvana for African American women where everything about them—their unique experiences, interests, goals, passions, and beauty—are all validated, celebrated, appreciated, and understood.

Although I left Essence Fest 2015 rejuvenated as well, I experienced a whole other level of appreciation for the event this year because of the many changes in my life and in my own personal development over the past year. I have been brought down to the ashes of the person I once was after losing my son and dealing with other struggles in my personal life, but Essence Fest 2016 has given me even more courage to hand my ashes over to God in order to become reborn like a golden, blonde-haired phoenix (check out the new “do”).

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Chilling poolside on the rooftop of the Ace Hotel and having some amazing conversation on a day off from the hustle and bustle of Essence Fest events!

 

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What do you say to someone whose concert may be the reason why you and your spouse got married? You say the obvious, “I love your music so much!” and just cheese really hard.

 

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Uncle Charlie never disappoints and he almost bought me a $400,000 car! :-O

 

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The “My Black is Beautiful” booth gave away full-sized hair products, t-shirts, and printed photographs for those patient enough to wait in line for them.

 

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I loved everything about Jidenna when the “Classic Man” first came on the seen, but I have an even greater appreciation for him and his music after seeing him live in the intimate Ford “Hot Right Now” superlounge at the Superdome!

 

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Bishop T.D. Jakes talked about his upcoming talk show and almost started preaching before he stopped himself short! I don’t think anybody would’ve minded him going on, especially me. His ministry kept me going on many’a rough days recently!

 

 

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I loved the random celebrity sightings at the Ernest N. Morial Convention Center. Eric Benet just strolled through with a few members of his crew/security.

 

 

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I grew up loving Mariah Carey’s music and Mimi did not disappoint. There was nothing like singing along to her hits and watching her in all her “diva-ness.”

 

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Another take-away from my Essence Fest weekend was a determination to finally check out Omari Hardwick in “Power.” The show was highly recommended by a new NOLA friend and even compared to “The Wire” so I’m intrigued.

Guest Post: Pink Letter by Aaron Miles

It’s 17 days until my husband and I will participate in the March of Dimes March for Babies in honor of the life and death of our son Izzy who passed away on January 25, 2016 due to bilateral renal agenesis, a fatal birth defect when a baby lacks kidneys. I’m pushing myself to write and post on the blog each day until the walk—some days a little and maybe some days a lot—in hopes of shedding light on issues like miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss so that other women who go through these types of things know that they’re not alone. Please share this post generously to spread awareness!

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Tonight I decided to give my wife a break and contribute to her daily post leading up to the March of Dimes walk. Although I struggled to find a topic, I decided to talk about my wife and how she is such an inspiration to me.

I was fortunate enough to meet Carla during my senior in college. I was finishing up my last semester at UIC and when I was invited to attend the UIC fashion after party at Harold Washington Culture Center. My best friend Elijah was meeting a friend at the party and he wanted me to go and play third wheel. To be completely honest, the party was boring and lame (do they still use that word 🙂 ) I stood there looking at my phone and updating my Facebook status. It was not until the end of the party that something got my attention. Elijah hooked up with the friend he came to meet and she happen to bring her friend, which was Carla. Sitting in this Toyota corolla, was this beautiful fair skinned woman that I had to meet. I approached the driver side of the window and introduce myself in my deep voice. “Hi, my name is Aaron”. She cited her name was Carla. We fell immediately fell into a lively conversation about each other.  What really struck me about the conversation was that she was extremely intelligent and engaging. She was well-versed in politics, faith, music, and understanding her dreams. I realize then that I made a right choice in going to that party that night. We decided to exchange numbers and coordinate a date.

As I finished my last semester, we connected time to time over text message and email. It wasn’t until early summer after graduation that I decided to ask her out on a date. I picked her up on a Saturday afternoon and went out on the town. What really struck me was how vested she was in me and liking me for who I was. I coined that summer “Black Summer nights” In our honor of our favorite album that year by Maxwell. It was summer, in which I really felt alive and at peace with someone that really cared for me. I was finally with someone who wanted to love me for who I was. With the financial crisis 2008, finding a job was very difficult. Majority of the summer, I struggled and battled to find work. I remember Carla was on a study abroad trip in London, England and she sent me a letter on Facebook encouraging me and that better days will be ahead. I remember her texting me before countless job interviews and giving me a dose of hope. She always has and will continue to support me in my endeavors.

After a couple of years, we decided to get married. As I look back on this day, I realize that I found the greatest thing that ever happen to me. Carla means so much to me in my life. She is a wonderful wife and goes above and beyond the call for duty. She does such a fantastic job caring for our 2 year old daughter as well as her 29 year old husband 🙂 The most powerful vowel is for better and for worse. Carla and I has shared our moments of triumphs and tragedy. The loss of Israel, was a tragedy that is very difficult to overcome. Through it all, we learn to continue to get closer to God and each other. It is our divine order to become stronger, wiser, and better in God. Overall, I appreciate the journey with Carla and look forward to continue to the travel the roads less traveled with the love of my life.

My family and I would love for you to donate to our March for Babies campaign! Any amount no matter how small may help other families of premature infants. Click here and know that we’re so thankful for you!

Ms. Jackson If Your Nasty

It’s 21 days until my husband and I will participate in the March of Dimes March for Babies in honor of the life and death of our son Izzy. I’m pushing myself to write and post on the blog each day until the walk—some days a little and maybe some days a lot—in hopes of shedding light on issues like miscarriage and infant loss so that other women who go through these types of things know that they’re not alone. Please share this post generously to spread awareness!

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So I am a huge Janet Jackson fan! I love her classics and I can play many of her newer albums all the way through without skipping a track. When I heard that she was stopping through Chicago on her Unbreakable tour on November 4, 2015, I had to be there. The tickets were purchased months before we found out that there was any trouble with Izzy. About 3 weeks before the concert we found out that Izzy had a fatal birth defect, bilateral renal agenesis. I’d nearly forgotten about the concert until receiving an email reminder about it in my inbox. Neither I or my husband really were in the mood to go and I thought about trying to sell the tickets, but I’m so glad we decided to go in spite of how we felt. Ms. Janet put on a great show and even hubby wanted to hear her new album after seeing her perform. Thank God for those little moments of joy amidst the pain–as well as for distractions. Sometimes we all need a little escape!

My family and I would love for you to donate to our March for Babies campaign! Any amount no matter how small may help other families of premature infants. Click here and know that we’re so thankful for you!

Three Little Birds

It’s 25 days until my husband and I will participate in the March of Dimes March for Babies in honor of the life and death of our son Izzy. I’m pushing myself to write and post on the blog each day until the walk—some days a little and maybe some days a lot—in hopes of shedding light on issues like miscarriage and infant loss so that other women who go through these types of things know that they’re not alone. Please share this post generously to spread awareness!

I always liked the song “Three Little Birds” by Bob Marley like most of the world I imagine but in the first few weeks after I lost Izzy this song nearly brought me to tears every time I listened to it. The lyrics are so simple, yet so beautiful and true. Everything really will be alright.

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There were times when I didn’t see a way through my grief. I thought that I would never be able to smile or laugh again. Just the thought of feeling anything but sadness made me feel a little guilty—as if I would be betraying my son by feeling anything other than the pain of losing him.

Listening to “Three Little Birds” reminded me of the truth that after dark always comes light. No matter how dark and bleak the night is, it simply can’t last forever. The sun must shine again. That’s just how God created things to be. Izzy will be in my heart and spirit when I laugh and when I cry. There will be good days when I think about kissing his soft cheeks and I smile and not-so-good days when I remember kissing his little cheeks and I break down and cry because I will never be able to kiss them again (at least on this side of heaven). Both types of days are inevitable and even necessary. Even on those rough days, Mr. Marley reminds me that every little thing is gonna be alright eventually.

My family and I would love for you to donate to our March for Babies campaign! Any amount no matter how small may help other families of premature infants. Click here and know that we’re so thankful for you!

Essence Fest 2015 Tips and Tidbits

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I know what you’re thinking…Yes, this is yet another post about Essence Fest 2015, but don’t worry. This will should be the last one! 😉 I just want to quickly shed some insight for those of you that have never been to Essence Fest/NOLA and may be thinking about heading there next year.

Here are some things that I either would have done differently or that I wish I had been prepared for before heading to the Big Easy:

1. Get a hotel in the French Quarter or close to it.
Although I loved the spacious 3-bedroom apartment we found on Airbnb in the Filmore neighborhood (subdistrict of Gentilly), I would recommend getting a hotel downtown so that you can be in the center of the action. Maybe not on Bourbon Street so that you can get some sleep (if you plan on sleeping), but a few blocks over from it. This way you can be within walking distance of French Quarter attractions as well as a short cab ride away from the Mercedes Benz Superdome and the Ernest N. Morial Convention Center for all of the Essence Fest events. Since we were a 15-25 min drive from the French Quarter and the Essence Fest events, having a rental car was great, but it did prevent us from really exploring on foot. I think we would have made better use of our time if we were already close to most of the action and didn’t have to drive to it.

2. Plan on getting up early if you want to see any of the empowerment speakers.
Each day, you will need to be at the Ernest N. Morial Convention Center as soon as they open if you plan on seeing any empowerment speakers for that day. The events at the convention center are free and open to the public. This means there may be a ton of people trying to see the same speakers or attend the same workshops as you. You can only grab tickets for events on the day that they will take place; you can’t get the next day’s tickets in advance. The upside is that you can get tickets for yourself and your friends so everyone doesn’t have to show up early to get the tickets if they don’t want to.

3. Plan on not sleeping.
If you come to New Orleans during Essence Fest, you probably will get very little sleep because you won’t want to go home after the concerts in the evening. You probably will want to hit up the French Quarter. That will make it harder for you to get up early and make the most out of the free daily events at the convention center (see number 2). Bring a pack of Red Bull in your suitcase, prepare to guzzle some coffee, or just mentally prepare yourself to be a drunk zombie during your entire trip.

4. Keep that itinerary short.
You will not get to do half of the things you planned to do while in New Orleans.
Most people probably aren’t anal enough as me to make an itinerary, but if you are, know that you won’t get to do half of the things on there. Essence Fest has enough activities to keep you engaged all day, which makes it hard to take time to explore the diverse neighborhoods and dining options in NOLA.

5. You won’t see all of your fav musical performances. Be choosey.
You probably won’t get to see all of the artists that you want to see during the evening concerts at the Superdome. There’s very little time between the main stage performances and the superlounge concerts, which is probably intentional. If the performances didn’t overlap a little, there wouldn’t be nearly enough room in the superlounges. The superlounge concerts are a lot more intimate than the main stage performances. If you get to a superlounge early enough, you could end up standing at the front of the stage. However, getting there early would mean missing a good chunk of the main stage performance happening at the moment. I missed out seeing Raheem Devaughn perform in a superlounge, which I heard was amazing, only to see a disappointing mainstage performance by Missy Elliot. I’m still pissed at myself about that. Be warned!

Have you been to Essence Fest this year or in previous years? What would you do differently if you go again?

Essence Fest 2015 Recap Part II

Hey y’all! Welcome to Part II of my Essence Fest 2015 weekend shenanigans. If you’ve already checked out Part I, which includes a little intro and my Wednesday-Thursday adventures, keep on reading.

Less sleep, more drinks, and great food…

Fun at the State Farm booth at Essence Fest 2015

Fun at the State Farm booth at Essence Fest 2015

Friday

Friday was the official kick-off of all the Essence Fest events, including the empowerment workshops, at the Ernest N. Morial Convention Center. I had plans to get inspired by Deitrick Haddon, learn about getting my side hustle together by the Queen of Side Hustles, Kandi Burruss, and get some fitness tips from Mr. Hip Hop Abs himself, Shaun T. Too bad none of that happened…

After waking up late because we spent a late night in the French Quarter, we arrived at the convention center around noon and found out that we needed tickets to attend the free empowerment workshops, which they were all out for the day. We were kicking ourselves for not getting there earlier but also ticked off that it wasn’t clear that we would need tickets for the workshops.

So what do you do in New Orleans when there’s nothing else to do? Drink. I was very close to slapped before it was even 5 o’clock. I must say that strolling through the convention center buzzed was probably a lot more fun than it would have been sober. We got silly and made a 30-second video at the State Farm booth (peep the video below) and did the electric slide on the Coca Cola dance floor to some jams by Cameo and other songs that I was too buzzed to remember now. I definitely remember being turnt tho.

Since we learned our lesson from the night before, we made it in decent time to see Kem, India Arie, Charlie Wilson, and Maze featuring Frankie Beverly perform at the Superdome Friday night. Everyone was really good, but Charlie Wilson definitely got the party started. Uncle Charlie showed everybody how it was done. When he performed one of my favorite songs ever, “Outstanding,” my night was complete.

Saturday

NOLA praline from Magnolia Sugar & Spice Praline Kitchen & Hot Sauce Bar

NOLA praline from Magnolia Sugar & Spice Praline Kitchen & Hot Sauce Bar

Being the sweets-lover that I am, I could not leave New Orleans without trying a praline so I stopped for one at Magnolia Sugar & Spice Praline Kitchen & Hot Sauce Bar since I could actually see a lady making them at the front of the store. Mine was already wrapped and packaged up, but it still tasted fresh and delightful. It had nothing on my beloved beignets, but it was tasty.

Speaking of tasty, we randomly stumbled on The Rum House, a “Caribbean Taqueria” on Magazine street after the original place we had in mind told us the wait time was an hour and a half. Ain’t nobody had time for that.

I’m forever grateful that we found The Rum House because I was in taco heaven. I ordered the Taco Trifecta, choosing a seared-scallop taco, a chilled shrimp taco, and a steak taco with guacamole. I also chose their smothered greens for my side. Nothing on my plate disappointed. It was definitely my favorite restaurant out of the few that we visited. The frozen Sangria Margarita was lovely as well. All of that with a phenomenal waiter to top it off=good times.

My Taco Trifecta from The Rum House (scallop, shrimp, & steak), NOLA

My Taco Trifecta from Rum House (scallop, shrimp, & steak), NOLA

We took a little time to stroll down Magazine Street before heading to the Superdome that evening. We came across a cool vintage store where I picked up a “Do the Right Thing” tank and some parrot earrings. I’m kinda second-guessing the earring purchase now, but we’ll see how I feel after I try them on.

Macaroons at Sucre, NOLA

Macaroons at Sucre, NOLA

We also stumbled on the most beautiful little bakery that had so many colorful and decadent desserts on display. One of the handsome guys behind the counter let us try some delicious macaroons. I seriously thought about taking some of them home for my cake-decorating, future bakery-owner bestie, MsBijouWho, but the prices made me zip my purse up with the quickness. Yep, even on vacation, I think like a SAHM. Budget. Budget. Budget. Sigh.

Saturday night at the Superdome was amazing, mostly due to the super-entertaining and awesome performance by Ms. Erykah Badu. She is the truth. Everybody was out of their seat by the end of Usher’s set too. He was almost putting people to sleep in the beginning while performing some lesser-known songs and some instrumentals, but by the time he started singing “You Make Me Wanna,” “Nice & Slow,” and songs from his “Confessions” CD, I think everybody was like, “Okaaaaayyyy Ur-sher.” The only thing that was kinda disappointing is he didn’t take his shirt off, but I’ll give him a pass on that one I guess.

Sunday

Sunday was bittersweet. There was so much that I still didn’t get to do in New Orleans by the time Sunday night rolled around that I was a little sad that the weekend was already over. Not to mention that that was the end of my unlimited girl time. And yet, I was really missing hubby and L-Boogie at home.

Bad Boy R&B group, 112 signing autographs at Essence Fest 2015

Bad Boy R&B group, 112 signing autographs at Essence Fest 2015

I didn’t get to eat as much fried chicken as I could handle at Willie’s Scotch House or really get to explore any of the neighborhoods, but I did get to see more celebs at the convention center on Sunday afternoon than I did in the previous days. I took a picture with journalist, Roland Martin and got a flier signed by Bad Boy R&B group, 112. My bae, Daron, even shook my hand. I could’ve died. Yeah, he shook everybody’s hand, but still…I told him he was my fav and he smiled!!!!!!! OMG!

That night, Floetry killed it at the Superdome, but Mary J. Blige proved that she’s still the Queen of Hip- Hop Soul (check out a video of her singing “Not Gon’ Cry” below). She had everybody on their feet during most of her performance and the crowd literally went nuts when she brought out Method Man while singing “You’re All I Need.” It was the perfect ending to the weekend.

We headed to Bourbon Street after Kendrick Lemar’s performance and although I tried to hang, my feet were killing me and I just couldn’t do it. I’d left my flip flops in the car earlier that day so I was stuck in some comfortable heels that turned into heels from hell by the end of the night. (In fact, my feet were still tingly and sore after returning home because of those dang shoes I had on.) So I got a few souvenirs and about 30 min of sleep before I had to be at the airport Monday morning. And that was the end of my Essence Fest 2015 getaway and reunion with my college besties!

Overall, my first grown woman getaway was a ton of fun. It was a much-needed break to recharge before returning home to my domesticated life as a mommy and wife. While I thoroughly enjoyed having a little flashback to those glorious sisterhood moments that I had in college when I was able to eat, sleep, and turn up with my besties 24/7, I realized that I wouldn’t change a thing about my life at the moment. It’s true that I don’t get a chance to just be a woman and do girly things nearly as much as I’d like to. However, Essence Fest weekend made me realize that even if Usher had taken his shirt off and I was able to try all the fried chicken that New Orleans had to offer, it wouldn’t have compared to hearing my toddler say, “Love you” or being in my husband’s arms.

So long NOLA! Can’t wait until we meet again! 

Essence Fest 2015 in New Orleans, LA Recap (Part I)

Little sleep and big drinks…

“Bourbon Street before the crowds come at night.” 14 February 2012 by Chris Litherland via Creative Commons. CC BY-SA 3.0

I’m baaaaaaaccccckkkkk. Back in more ways than one. This is my first blog post after my little hiatus and I’m happy to be back to see what’s poppin’! The break was really good for me. Although I missed blogging, it was good to recharge and get my mind right. I have a lot more to say to my popped people than before the break so I’m pretty excited!

One of the things I want to tell you about is my trip to New Orleans, LA for Essence Festival 2015 during 4th of July weekend! This trip helped me mark a couple of things from my 101 Things in 1001 Days list, including:

2) Travel to a city/location in the U. S. and outside the U.S. that I’ve never been before (1/2)
3) Have a reunion with my besties from college
52) Go to a concert

I’m ecstatic to knock off 2.5 things from my list and can’t wait to share more with you about the trip. Let’s start with highlights from Wednesday and Thursday!

Wednesday night

I arrived in hot and humid Nawlins for a long-anticipated reunion with my besties from college, Di and Des. You all may remember one of them from one of my P.O.P. Women features, The Positively Optimistic & Powerful Destiny. I don’t think we’d all been in the same room with each other since my wedding in January of 2013 so we were really excited about this trip. One of the best things about college is that you have the opportunity to make friends for life that come from all over the U.S. (and world for that matter). We all rep the Midwest, but have such different backgrounds, experiences, careers, and personalities. This made deciding where to go and what to do a little complicated at times, but it also made the experience that much more interesting.

Coop's Place in New Orleans, LA

Coop’s Place in New Orleans, LA

We ate dinner in the French Quarter at Coop’s place our first night in NOLA. I’d read about it being a must-visit dining spot for real New Orleans food. Once I’d gotten there, I’d forgotten what they were famous for and had no idea what to order. The waitress wasn’t very friendly so I ended up trying the Coop’s Taste Plate, which consisted of a cup of seafood gumbo, red beans and rice with sausage, rabbit and sausage jambalaya, and a fried chicken wing. The best thing on my plate by far was the fried chicken wing. It had just the right amount of seasoning and it was pretty much everything. The flavors tickled my starving taste buds in all kinds of amazing ways. The red beans and rice and jambalaya were just ok. All that I really remember about them was that they were spicy. 

Seafood Gumbo at Coop's Place, NOLA

Seafood Gumbo at Coop’s Place, NOLA

Besides for the food, the service and ambience left much to be desired. Even though we were able to sit down right away, there was a hella long wait for the food, flies buzzing around, and the tables were so cramped that I had to keep getting up during my meal to let people pass behind me. That definitely killed my vibe. My food was lukewarm as well, which was probably my fault. I had to run to the car to get a change of clothes right when the food came because I’d spilled my drink all over my lap. I’ve noticed that I have a pattern of spilling drinks lately. Maybe because my drinks are so few and far between that the buzz catches me off guard and I get clumsy. But, I must say that the one, delicious chicken wing on my plate and the good conversation stopped that dinner from being a complete fail.

After leaving Coop’s Place, we strolled down Decatur street and guess what I saw…Café du Monde. The thought of scarfing down some hot, sugary beignets was one of the main reasons that got me down to New Orleans. Let’s just saw I was not disappointed. They were a doughnut-lover’s dream come true. It was an orgasm of powdered sugar in my mouth. They were everything. I could have eaten them everyday I was there, but my stomach fat and our schedule wouldn’t let me.

 Thursday

Western omelet with cheese, hash browns, and biscuit at The Trolley Stop Café in NOLA

Western omelet with cheese, hash browns, and biscuit at The Trolley Stop Café in NOLA

The official Essence Fest festivities didn’t kick off until Friday morning so we spent Thursday late morning/early afternoon eating and strolling a mall in downtown New Orleans. We ate at The Trolley Stop Café and it was everything. The long wait was worth it when I finally got a taste of my western omelet with cheddar cheese, hash browns, and biscuit. The food was so good that we ate there twice, once during brunch hours and the next time at like 2 or 3 in the morning, after coming from a (somewhat wack, wannabe bougie) club nearby. It’s open 24 hours during the weekend. Definitely a must if you’re vising NOLA!

Yours truly before leaving for the Kevin Hart show. Yep, I was def one of the most fully clothed women at Essence Fest ;)

Yours truly before leaving for the Kevin Hart show. Yep, I was def one of the most fully clothed women at Essence Fest 😉

Thursday evening we headed to the Mercedes Benz Superdome to see Kevin Hart’s What Now show. Lecrae and Trey Songz were his musical opening acts. Due to poor planning and the unexpected inefficiency of the process of getting into the superdome, we didn’t get to our seats until Trey Songz had already started performing. I was a bit bummed about missing Lecrae, but I did get a peek at him a few days later at the Ernest N. Morial Convention Center during some Essence Fest festivities. I would’ve loved to see how the crowd responded to a Christian rapper preforming right before Mr. “Invented Sex” Trey Songz. That should’ve been comedy in itself!

Kevin Hart’s show definitely had its hilarious moments as expected, although, I wouldn’t say it was better than his previous stand-up that I’ve seen on TV/DVD. (This was my first time seeing him live.) I must say that he was not playing games when it came to his “No camera/No cell phone” policy during the show. Anybody seen pulling their cell phone out during the show was kicked out. Let’s just say that it was too many people being escorted out to count. That little man meant biness!

After the Kevin Hart show, we headed to the French Quarter and looked around. There was a good amount of people out, but the huge Essence Fest crowd didn’t really show up until Friday. We had our first Big Easy daiquiris. I had a strawberry one and it was delicious. We just loitered around until we were ready to turn in for the night. It was hard to go home when everything was still bright and open way into the wee hours of the morning. It reminded me of Times Square in NYC but at a much slower pace. Clearly, NOLA never sleeps, but it’s a relaxed insomnia unlike the hustle and bustle of NYC.

Stay tuned for Essence Fest 2015 Recap Part II! It feels great to not only be home with the fam and catch up on zzzzzzz’s, but to also be back in the blogging saddle 😉 Keep it poppin’ until next time!

 

 

Feelin’ the Classic Man

Source: Facebook

Source: Facebook

So I don’t know about you all, but I’ve been on some chill ish lately. I’m all about keeping drama/negativity to a minimum and all about cool vibes right now.

Besides getting my crafty creative juices flowing by making my first batch of homemade lotion last weekend, I’ve been vibe-ing out to the music from the artists of Janelle Monae’s Wondaland Records music label–a “for artists by artists” record label. I was a little late getting acquainted to the awesomeness that is Janelle Monae, but now that I’m in the mix, I can’t get enough.

I especially can’t get enough of one of the newcomers under this music label, Jidenna. It’s one thing that his new single makes me want to dance in my seat, but I think that anytime we see a black man that’s talented, smart, and socially-conscious get some mainstream attention in the music world, there’s cause for twerkin’. He’s got this old school meets new school feel that I love. Plus he can flow and he graduated from Stanford University–he’s lucky I’m married. I love that his “Classic Man” style shows our youth a different image of black masculinity that’s cool, confident, and classy.

Check out his “Classic Man” video featuring Roman GianArthur below.

Doesn’t that video make you wish you were getting turnt at that party? Give me a party where you can let your hair down and not end up on the nine o’clock news and I’m there. I also just love the scene when he takes the teenagers that are about to get arrested back to school. Yasss. I appreciate the message about taking an interest in our youth and showing them a better way.

To get another taste of Jidenna’s rapping chops, check out this live video for his song, “Long Live the Chief.” One of the highlights from this video is definitely the line “Can’t spell but we know our instagrammar.” Preach. We all know our youth are on the struggle these days and I think more images of artists like Jidenna and Monae in mainstream music can be at least a small part of the solution.

Let me know your thoughts on Jidenna and this movement to spotlight more variety in the mainstream Pop/R&B/Hip-hop/Trap genres in the comments or on Facebook.

And because I love my popped people, I’m gonna throw in the epic new single by Ms. Monae featuring the “Classic Man” himself for your viewing pleasure. Get some “Yoga” in your life if you haven’t already 😉

Growing Some Ovaries (101 Things in 1001 Days Update)

I have a “101 Things in 1001 Days” update for you all! I was reluctant to publish this because I thought that I only had 2 things to check off, but I do indeed have 3 whole things that I consider DONE!

For starters, I am beyond grateful to say that I can check off #63, “Reach one hundred followers on this blog!” This goal was actually met back in March of this year! In fact, the blog has 148 followers to date! WOOT WOOT! YAY!!!!! I am so happy about that! It may be small beans in the ginormous world of blogging, but it means the world to a little blogging novice like me! Thank you all so much for supporting the Popped Black Woman Blog!

Secondly, the next item that I can check off (the one I almost forgot about) is #60, “Learn how to enjoy working out without listening to ratchet music.” You may laugh, thinking what’s the big deal, but it was hard to let go of that twerk and “Run Up Get Done Up” music, even for a peacoat-wearing, motivational book-reading, Downton Abbey-watching gal such as myself.

Peep this quick video to see the kind of music I used to listen to at the gym:

Even though a good beat helps get that blood flowing in the gym, I believe music has a huge influence on our thoughts and outlook on life. I think that negative song lyrics can make it a lot harder to stop thinking negatively in general. I listen to pretty positive music during the day-to-day. Specifically, the Janelle Monae station on Pandora is one of my favorite stations ever right now! But, letting go of my DMX and “Knuck If You Buck” stations on Pandora during my workouts has been hard. (Yeah, I luh the old school even when it comes to rap, which crazy enough can now be applied to music from the early 2000s!)

All of the drop it low hooks and talk about whoopin’ somebody’s a$$ used to make me go harder on the treadmill. But, I’ve noticed that the songs that used to get me turnt up, hurt my spirit a little bit now. I no longer can listen to music that calls women hos and still feel empowered. I’m in a different frame of mind now, which is wonderful! I don’t think this means I will give up the old stuff entirely. I mean, music like the “Regulate Jammin’ Remix” by Warren G and Nate Dogg will always be a classic in my book and the lyrics aren’t so bad, but I don’t need to feed my gangsta alter ego to enjoy my workout anymore. Won’t He do it! 😉

Lastly…drum roll please…I got my nose pierced again (#35)! As I said in one of my introductory “101 Things in 1001 Days” posts, the first time I had my nose pierced was my freshman year of college. I had freshly turned 18 and nobody could tell me nothing. I wanted to do it and I did it. This time around, I was so nervous! Not nervous about the pain because I knew what to expect, but nervous about what other people would think about it. It reminded me just a little of the dread I felt over the negative reactions I knew were coming from a few old school family members when I cut my relaxed hair off back in the day, which also happened right after I turned 18.

Um...disregard all that shine #oilyskinproblems

Um…disregard all that shine #oilyskinproblems

Where was that “I don’t care” attitude that I had when I was 18 this time around? I’m a hellava lot grown-er now than I was then. It’s been almost 10 years! I’ve experienced life in the “real world”—had several jobs, had my own apartment and my own bills, got married, had a child. Who or what was I afraid of?

I questioned if it would be appropriate now–whether I would be setting a good example for Little L. Yet, the more I thought about it, the more convicted I became to GROW SOME OVARIES & DO IT! By expressing myself in this way, I felt like I was showing my daughter that she is free to be who she is, which may not be popular and celebrated by everybody, but it’s worth it to be herself in the long run because she’s in charge of her own happiness. I never want to discourage her from doing something simply because everybody won’t like it. If it doesn’t hinder her personal and professional goals, why not do it?!

I stopped worrying about the what ifs–what if ish hits the fan and I have to go back into the workforce and it’s not acceptable to have a nose ring? I’ll cross that bridge later if it gets to that point. It’s only a tiny little piercing that can close at anytime if I take the stud out. It can be pierced again just as easily! It’s crazy how we can turn the smallest things into much bigger issues than they really are. I feel free. Free to be whoever I decide to be at any moment and it feels great!

Have any of you checked off any items from your 101 Things in 1001 Days/Bucket Lists lately? Let me know in the comments or on Facebook! Keep it poppin’ as always 😉