Feelings and Actions

It’s 5 days until my husband and I will participate in the March of Dimes March for Babies in honor of the life and death of our son Izzy who passed away on January 25, 2016 due to bilateral renal agenesis, a fatal birth defect when a baby lacks kidneys. I’m pushing myself to write and post on the blog each day until the walk—some days a little and maybe some days a lot—in hopes of shedding light on issues like miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss so that other women who go through these types of things know that they’re not alone. Please share this post generously to spread awareness!

How you act quote td jakes

Feelings are important and must be acknowledged, but we all have those times when we know our feelings are contrary to what our head or our spirit tells us to do. Pretty much every time I write a post that’s deeply personal to me there’s a moment of hesitation before clicking “publish” or “share.” My feelings often tell me to keep my story to myself. It’s too precious to me. It’s too sacred to share with others that may only see it as entertainment or read it as something to gossip and snicker about. Yet, my spirit tells me that one of the reasons I went through the things that I’ve went through is to share my experience and what I’ve learned. Plus, there’s a boldness I feel now that I didn’t have before. Since I’ve been completely broken in spirit, there’s no where to go but up. People’s opinions won’t make or break me now because they won’t give me back what I’ve lost. Opinions are irrelevant and I definitely can’t cash them in at the bank.

It’s common for many women who’ve experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss to feel like they are to blame in some way, like they’re inadequate, or like they have failed. There is nothing wrong with you, but everything right with you. Your heart has been broken, but it’s still beating and it’s stronger than its ever been. My encouragement to you is to share your story if you feel led to do so by some force that you can’t name. You may never feel like you are ready, but more than likely you will find greater peace if you release any shame you feel about your situation. Bad things happen to everyone and there is nothing you’ve done to deserve losing your baby. Choose to act on faith rather than not acting because of how you feel because you just might help someone else mend their heart as well.

My family and I would love for you to donate to our March for Babies campaign! Any amount no matter how small may help other families of premature infants. Click here and know that we’re so thankful for you!

4 thoughts on “Feelings and Actions

  1. Tolliny Rankins says:

    Carla I’m amazed at God. I’m amazed at how you’re allowing Him to use you. I’m amazed at your strength,your openness & the Vulnerability you’re showing.I know it’s Him but seeing Him in action is incredible.Having had a miscarriage over 10 years ago & still not being able to conceive there’s a grief I live with almost daily.This wasn’t my plan.I wanted to be a Mom & have a few kids.I even had names picked out.Then there is the regret of having had (2) abortions over 25 years ago because I was a a unmarried teen thinking I better wait…til the right time.People always ask me & my husband how many children we have after being married for over 25 years.We usually smile politely,shake our heads & say “none…but we do have have a Yorkie.” I’ve never expressed this outside of my circle of a few close friends but after reading your blog tonite about feelings,it gave me courage & I almost feel like I need to own my feelings.Yes I’m your big cousin but you’ve become my “she-ro.” I known hats the last thing on your mind but it’s one of the 1st things that come to my mind every day when I read your post.
    I couldn’t share my experience.I couldn’t bring myself to share my story.Until tonite.I’m breathing deeply as I prepare to press submit.But I know I need to,so I will.I love,support,encourage & pray for you & Aaron’s strength.In honor of my sweet baby cousin Izzy I choose to be free & own my feelings.

    Liked by 1 person

    • poppedblackwomanblog says:

      Tolliny, I am so encouraged by your willingness to share your story and so touched by everything you wrote! You’ve always been an inspiration to me, as an entrepreneur and definitely as a woman of faith. Praise God if in any way I’ve been used to facilitate you being free to share your most personal experiences! I can only imagine all that God will do through you sharing your entire testimony! I cannot wait to hear about it! Love you!


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