I’ve been funk-y. Not the I-need-a-shower funky or the Cha-Cha Slide funky, but the I’ve been in a funk funky.
Over the past week, I avoided blogging like the plague. I was afraid of writing something that revealed the dejected frame of mind I’ve been in. I haven’t been nearly as positively optimistic and powerful as I would’ve liked to have been. Instead of dealing with my feelings, I’ve been using TV as a crutch—binge-watching Game of Thrones and wondering why I couldn’t find a bottle of wine in the house when I needed one.
My funk made me avoid reflection at all costs. I just wanted to stay distracted. But, I knew that I couldn’t keep running. I had to take the first step and at least acknowledge that the funk exists and it has to go. I can’t be funky and fearless at the same time.
The funk has not gone away, but now that I have acknowledged it, I have to reflect on it. The thing is, I can’t pinpoint what caused this funk of mine; it just feels like all of my past fears and frustrations have come back to visit me. I just feel stuck and I have no idea what to do to get out of it.
At least part of this funk has to do with mapping out my next steps; my 4-5 year plan. I felt like I was starting to get some clarity over my purpose and the direction over my life earlier this year. Now, I feel clueless again. (I swear I’ve been having a quarter-life crisis since I was born.)
Many of us have been trained to view life in terms of the stages of schooling. Once you graduate 8th grade, you move on to high school. Once you spend 4 years in high school, you spend the next 4 years in college. After that, unless you stay in school forever, life doesn’t follow a strict 4 year plan. It’s up to us to map out our journey from there, which can feel liberating but downright frightening as well.
I’ve been struggling with mapping out my own plan. Over the last few years, it seemed that once I started on one plan, reaching goals and milestones on the way, I started to second-guess the entire plan and create a new one. Part of the problem may be that I’ve been searching for THE plan as if there is only one that is the right one. Sometimes I start to think that there is no right one, but then I look around and some people seem to just know THE right plan for them.
I choose to take action steps to get out of this funk so that I can set some goals for the next few years. (Hey, if you fail to plan, you plan to fail or so they say.)
1. Get back on track with my blogging schedule. Blogging/writing is the one thing that makes sense when so many other things don’t.
2. Stop peeping over fences and comparing the neighbor’s grass to mine. It will always be a different shade, which doesn’t mean it’s better.
3. Pray and reflect. I have to be still and in a positive state of mind in order to draft a new plan. I have to understand that it will need to be edited from time to time, which is OK.
4. Enjoy the moment and the journey. This moment is all that is guaranteed.
Tell me about your week and any funkiness you’ve experienced. How’d you get out of it? Let me know in the comments or on Facebook. We gotta keep it popped no matter how funky we feel 😉