The Popped Black Woman Blog Affirmation

When I think back over my life, it’s clear to be that I’ve always been a weirdo…or at least a better term would be extremely self-aware. Maybe that’s just the curse of being a writer. I was always very aware of my feelings. Even when I was told that I was being too sensitive or upset for nothing, I always felt too strongly to believe that my feelings were without cause or merit.

So when I felt like something was broken in my home–like something was not normal, even though I had no clue what “normal” was–I sought for more information and eventually for support. Mind you, I grew up in the city so I was used to seeing the reality of urban life–poverty, violence, the usual stuff they show on Fox news (cut the last part, it wasn’t that bad). I’ve never lived in the “gutta”, but it definitely wasn’t pristine or well-to-do either. I lived in apartments mostly, first on the south side of Chicago and then on the west side. I was always well-fed and well-clothed. But, I also felt in my gut that it wasn’t normal for my father to drink the entire day–morning to night, everyday. I knew it wasn’t normal for me to be ashamed to bring friends home from school because my place looked like something from the TV show Hoarders and because I didn’t know what my father would say or do. I knew parents argued, but I knew it wasn’t normal for my parents to physically fight enough to break bedroom furniture.

Me, being the weirdo/maybe too self-aware teenager that I was (or maybe just hella lonely from being an only child), I sought help. I found an Alateen group, a group for children of current/past alcoholics, in a nearby suburb when we lived out west and convinced my mom to drop me off for a few meetings. I only went a couple of times because it was a lot to unpack emotionally and I wasn’t quite as ready for that as I thought. It was too much hurt to feel in front of strangers and I couldn’t take hearing the stories from other teenagers that went through the same things I did and often worse. There were very few kids in the group and eventually I found myself in a meeting with just the adult leader and myself and just decided it was too uncomfortable to keep going back.

Alcohol...starting parties and ruining homes since...forever???

Alcohol…starting parties and ruining homes since…forever???

All of that spiel was to bring up the fact that Al-Anon (Alcoholic Anonymous) and Alateen have the 12 Step Program and other mantras/pledges/affirmations/statements that they follow. In fact, “The Laundry List” describes me, an adult child of an alcoholic, so well that I can barely stand to read it. I’ve come to realize that I was paralyzed by my experiences growing up for most of my teen and young adult years. I figured it was about time to create a new statement for myself, as well as an affirmation for the Popped Black Woman Blog community. I refuse to allow my supersensitive self to be stuck in a rut because of past baggage.

The PBWB affirmation epitomizes what this blog hopes to accomplish: support for positively optimistic and powerful women that know who they are, believe that they can do anything, and do everything in their power to be better versions of themselves than they were in the past. Of course, we don’t always feel this way, which is why we have to remind ourselves of the truths below everyday and especially during those low moments.

Here is the Popped Black Woman Blog Affirmation:

I will act lovingly towards myself in thought and deed.

I am more than a conqueror over obstacles, anxiety, fear, and self-doubt. They will not prevent me from pursuing my dreams.

I will not ask for anyone else’s permission to live.

I will not allow other people’s actions towards me or feelings about me determine my mood or how I feel about myself.

I will not compare my shortcomings or achievements to those of others. My journey is mine.

I will only compete against the person I was yesterday.

Today is a new day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice in it and be grateful for it.

Do you all have any personal affirmations or mantras that you’d like to share? Do you think that they work in keeping you focused on your goals/purpose? Let me know in the comments or on Facebook. Stay popped loves 😉

Introducing: Fearless Friday

Hey all my positively optimistic & powerful people!

I’d love to try something new with you all: Fearless Friday! It seems appropriate since I am (slowly, but surely) reading On Becoming Fearless…in Love, Work, and Life by Arianna Huffington, which was so graciously sent to me weeks ago by Shahidah of the Properly Improper blog. Once I’ve finished the book, I will write a post on it for sure!

CC Gavin Llewellyn via Creative Commons (CC by 2.0)

CC Gavin Llewellyn via Creative Commons (CC by 2.0)

Fear is a gift and a curse like so many things in life. Fear can prevent us from hurting ourselves, as in the case of feeling heat when next to a fire. Yet, it can also prevent us from stepping out of our comfort zones to be the best version of ourselves that we can be. The goal of Fearless Friday is to stop allowing fear to infest our dreams; to rise above fear so that it doesn’t hinder us from trying new things or attempting seemingly impossible goals. The only failure is the failure to try.

Each Friday, I plan to share something that I was afraid of at one point during (or throughout) the past week. Then, I would like to leave you all with a quote, picture, song, SOMETHING that will inspire you to be fearless not just on Friday, but throughout your weekend and the rest of the week. I hope to gather inspiration from a vast array of sources. If you have suggestions, shoot me an email at Please chime in and share whatever encouragement is on your heart to bless the rest of us with whether it be in the comments or on Facebook!

IMG_0901 (2)This week I was afraid of…

Allowing myself to sink into the bottomless pit of regret. I used to allow myself to wallow in regret all the time. That old temptation to let it creep back in came when someone I loved passed away Wednesday at around 2pm, Uncle Curtis. He was the most loving and giving man that I knew. His favorite greeting was, “Praise the Lord” and he was never without a smile. Instead of letting regret over not visiting him as much as I would have liked keep me down, I smiled and remembered that he was able to meet Little L for the first time a little over a month ago. He couldn’t say much, but I could see the wonder in his gray-green eyes and I could imagine him saying, “Praise the Lord!”

Today remember…

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7)

If fear doesn’t come from God, where does it come from?