Women Are More Than Scenery Here

Dear Popped Black Woman Blog Community,

So I had a great new post for the Ask a Popped Brotha series to post today but after speaking with Brotha Aaron about the feedback from his introduction post, we both have decided to hold off on future posts featuring him. My reasons are not because his feature didn’t get a great amount of views because it surely did, mostly from his large Facebook network. I couldn’t pinpoint my problem with the post and the feedback right away, then it came to me when someone that knew both of us shared the article to their network, but only referenced him even though they knew it was my blog. You may say, “Carla, you need to check your ego,” but I don’t know if it was just my ego that was bruised.

The problem is similar to how he and I would get asked different questions at certain social events with people who have more “traditional” perspectives (if that’s the right way to put it). Even when we were both working full time jobs, he would get asked how work was going. I would get asked the blanket question “how’s it going” or something related to my daughter.

The problem is similar to being ignored when discussing current events, while he is implored to give his opinions. And if I do give an opinion, it is answered with only a nod because women are only supposed to talk about kids, shopping, or TV.

You may say, “Carla, you need to change your circle honey” and I completely agree. But, that’s a different issue for a different blog post. Since this blog was formed to empower women of color and give them a space to be celebrated outside of the male gaze, I desire to keep it that way. At this point having a man give weekly financial advice, even if it’s great advice from a great man, doesn’t fit with what I hope to accomplish here at the moment. I hope to have a space where women are not defined only in terms of a man (even if the very name “wo-man” does this *laughs*). I hope to have a place where women’s thoughts, feelings, and dreams are put on a pedestal and not trampled on the floor. This is a place where a man’s stamp of approval is not needed to succeed. Not to say that the Ask a Popped Brotha series would have taken away from those things, but it just doesn’t feel like the right time for it when the blog is so young and impressionable 😉

I have something special for you all coming up really soon and I’m excited to share it. What is it? You’ll just have to be patient and find out. Stay tuned. And keep encouraging each other to be positively optimistic and powerful.

With love,
Popped Black Woman Blog 😉

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